Cassie-Flyleaf ; Last Resort-Papa Roach

soooo today was the WORST DAY EVER.! hurricane hermione decided to hit the good ole Dee Eff Dub and flood us dry. my day began trying to swim to school before the sun woke up and make it to ensemble on time. well of course the chapel doors were locked, so i had to freestylle stroke it over to the cafetteria (sp?) where i encountered one very cute new guy named michael who plays the guitar.
most of us were on time, but mrs smallwood wasnt, so we had a long practice. this i didnt mind, infact this morning was enjoyable, which is weird because i absolute DESPISE mornings with all that is within me.
everything was normal and fine until third period. of course i forgot to do my english homework. no big deal, ill just sign up for ninenth hour, whatever. just wait, this comes back to bite me in the gluteus maximus.
well, sorry but im a girl and im getting out with this, im on my period, and i was cramping like none other. i was seriously in tears. then, it came to pass that i had only pad left. and i was leaking onto my skort. and all over my spandex. yum. and yes, i DID jus go there!
so i stole my neighbors jacket and tied it around my waist to cover it up.

when lunchcame around, i wanted nothing more than to tell aleyna and my friends about it. but OF COURSE my stalker (chris) wants to have lunch with us...........again. perfect. well, OBVIOUSLY i was not a happy camper (by then i looked more like a camper who was mauled by a bear...) but he insist that i teach him english. the only thing i was interested in teaching right then was how to punch a chris in the face. haha >:) but duuhhh, since aleyna's a freaking saint, she helps him.soooooo i have to sit there and suffer in silence. i was about to just tell chris about how my monthly blood was seeping through and getting all over my clothes, even as we spoke, but i was too tired. oh, and the panini's they served at lunch=DISGUSTING.
(ps-i LOVE chris to peices. i really do. it was just one of those days where everyone was annoying, you know??)
math was fun for a change-everyone was asleep, mr jones taught us history, and ethan said the most hilarioussss things everrrr. hahah i love that kid :)
then came chemistry....... :( i almost cried during that class. sitting there i realized that my life had spun out of control, and i was not close to God. i sat there staring at my dimensional analysis packet, not knowing what to do. its like only my ghost has been going to school, and ive been in some other world this whole time.
practice succckkkeeddd. we start district tomorrow. its time for me to show what im made of. ive decided to be made of diamonds :]
during practice, my stomach started to hurt. nbd, ill get over it. then it got soooooooooo painful, i couldnt even stand up straight. nevertheless, i was resolved to go to church. i didnt wanna miss another praise band practice. thus, i showed up in my pj's rolling straight outta volleyball and still in pain. and i felt dead.so yes, i did indeed lay down on the floor. so my youth pastor came over and told me i needed to move. no biggie, ill fersure do that. then he says "if youre so tired, why are you here anyways?" i wanted to punch him in the face. thanks for adding to my day. which really, my day wasnt that bad. it still sucked though. but i didnt need that. the only place in the whole world i wanted to be at was temple. truth is, i dont wanna be at celebration. id much rather be at temple. and when he said that, i just wanted to leave. i guess i wont show up to church if im tired...
i do love celebration, but i will never fit in there. and there is alot of people who feel the same way. i dont really feel like im drawing closer to God there. i dont want to rely on the church for that, i want my relationship with Him to be personal, but i always leave that place angry. and i would like to actually be recharged in the Spirit cause i could fosho use it right now.
oh, i forgot to turn in my ninenth hour.....sooo ill prolly get like a detention or something now. :D
but the day got way better when i got to see all my temple people at chic fila. it made everything seem better. i freaking love them.! 'cept for when i walked in and got asked "are you sick?? cause you look sick. or tired." thanks josh :l. but they let me leave the place with a smile :)

i might be able to start going to temple once i turn sixteen :)))))

Just Breathe-Pearl Jam

i love storms.

and i guess storms could symbolize so much right now.

mom went to work today.....shes crazy, cause shes not fully recovered but whatever.

i had to help her dry her hair....that was weird.

ive been a zombie during school. as soon as 8:10 hits, im in an instant depression. i . look . dead . everyone keeps asking me whats wrong.

today we lost our volleyball game. nothing i do will ever be good enough for moy coaches....i actually played well tonight and all they did was gripe. whatever. i just want to get better at volleyball.

but sometimes i just want to quit. because i dont care.

my coaches keep going on and on about how great the other players are. i wish they saw the same talent in me.

W ual, he is creative. Most of all, He speaks in love.

W is ration/logical, and God also speak irrationally. I mean think about it, if God only spoke in numbers, we would understand him. I think God is biling

W Im doing some heavy thinking today mannn. So ive heard that God speaks in numbers or math,and they use that as a reasonfor me to learn math. Well, math

? ING PHOTOGRAPHY COMPANY.! shouldnt i be in there?!?! And why do people who dont have a clue run my school??!

? She said that this year, photography was filled up with seniors and juniors so there was no room for me. So imagine my ssurprise when i figure out that

? only two seniors are in that class and that there is also two sophomores and a freshman in there meanwhile im doomed to art!! I mean, I RUN MY OWN FREAK

? You know what irks me?? People who dont know what theyre doing and the fact that im not in photography this year. Mrs rice does not know what shes doing.

x something weird. I will be content laying out here, backing in the glorious sun until it sets and my night becomes alive:)

x Nothing like working outtsiide on a beautiful day!! Sun's shining, and feeling great on my skin. After i finished weeding and filling ditches with topsoi

Why do i even like you?

Adventures in Solitude-the New Pornographers

soooo ive decided to name my post after whatever song im listening to at the moment :)

anyways, alot has happened this year. im ranked in district as a varsity outside hitter, im in praise band at church,learning hindi, and lots more.

sooo lets see if i can tackle it all-

well i started the year by almost going out with Kevin Cline. but seeing as how we havent talked in awhile, i guess we're no longer pursuing that path. he should up at my last volleyball game, and it was pretty obvious that we're over.

Chris Hughes asked me to homecoming on the first day of school....and yes, i said no. but that didnt stop him from asking me again. or from sitting at my lunch table. or from stalking me at school. silly boy.

so far, sophomore year sucks. i miss being a fish and having easy classes.

lets see, what else...i just finished reading Mockingjay from the Hunger Games trilogy. and it made me freaking cry.
well, i should be doing homework right now, buuuuuuuuuuuut my parents took off with my backpack in their car...so hahaha.
oh, and im not supposed to have a bloggg to shhhhhhhhh :)

Harpoon Fever-Man Man♪♫

it was the saturday before school started. life was pure bliss...the summer of my life was coming to an end i got to see the people who i had missed most starting on monday.
then the phone rang. and my mom began crying.
thats when i knew....my mom had breast cancer. i had to cancel the plans i had that day, and i wasnt allowed to tell anyone. at all. so i just kinda did my thing.....go and deal with it by myself.
it was sooo weird to think of my strong and spunky mother as weak. she just kept crying.

eventually, she we were allowed to tell people. and then came all the texts, letters, calls, and facebook posts that all said the same infuriating thing: "trust in God"
why did they doubt my trust in God???when did i ever say, "oh, well since my mom has cancer, i forsake God and im going to become an athiest and yeah..."
never. i trusted God the whole freaking time-its something ive always been good at. i never questioned or doubted. but these people who didnt understand what i was going through tried their hardest to make me feel better by saying exactly what i didnt want to hear and made sure i was constantly reminded that there was something wrong with my mom. it made me just wanna scream 'SHUTUP! i might not like the fact that my mother's sick but IM DOING FINE. yes, i might cry a little,but im a fifteen year olf GIRL. just LEAVE ME ALONE"
but of course these people meant well. what i really needed right then was just silence. just for me to tell them whats going on and for them to just accept it, as i did.

of course, my fierce mom fought her way through the whole thing. two surgeries and a couple of weeks later, shes recovering and might even go to work tomorrow. im going to leave alot of details out for now.

my family came down for the surgeries. my mom had her breast removed, and we're working on the reconstructioning of it now. things got super busy, with school, volleyball, and mom. my grades started to drop cause i never had time for school work, but im working on bringing them back up. my family has had alot of support throughout the whole thing. now we only have about two or three surgeries to go. im so glad its almost over........

Kept In

sorry ive been so long, but things have been crazy. i just got off of skype with my best friend Kaylin...so nice to see her pretty face!!! and im so happy that its Labor Day weekend!!! :) :)
soo im listening to the Adventureland soundtrack and thinking over everything thats been happening over the past month....
lasst night was crazy: going to parties and seeing my favorite Zoe.we didnt get home till like four...hahah :)

anyways, life took me and my family for a whorl wind a month ago when my  mom got breast cancer....not cool :(

i have to go to a concert, and i will finish talking about my month when i get home :)
stay classy! ;)