then the phone rang. and my mom began crying.
thats when i knew....my mom had breast cancer. i had to cancel the plans i had that day, and i wasnt allowed to tell anyone. at all. so i just kinda did my thing.....go and deal with it by myself.
it was sooo weird to think of my strong and spunky mother as weak. she just kept crying.
eventually, she we were allowed to tell people. and then came all the texts, letters, calls, and facebook posts that all said the same infuriating thing: "trust in God"
why did they doubt my trust in God???when did i ever say, "oh, well since my mom has cancer, i forsake God and im going to become an athiest and yeah..."
never. i trusted God the whole freaking time-its something ive always been good at. i never questioned or doubted. but these people who didnt understand what i was going through tried their hardest to make me feel better by saying exactly what i didnt want to hear and made sure i was constantly reminded that there was something wrong with my mom. it made me just wanna scream 'SHUTUP! i might not like the fact that my mother's sick but IM DOING FINE. yes, i might cry a little,but im a fifteen year olf GIRL. just LEAVE ME ALONE"
but of course these people meant well. what i really needed right then was just silence. just for me to tell them whats going on and for them to just accept it, as i did.
of course, my fierce mom fought her way through the whole thing. two surgeries and a couple of weeks later, shes recovering and might even go to work tomorrow. im going to leave alot of details out for now.
my family came down for the surgeries. my mom had her breast removed, and we're working on the reconstructioning of it now. things got super busy, with school, volleyball, and mom. my grades started to drop cause i never had time for school work, but im working on bringing them back up. my family has had alot of support throughout the whole thing. now we only have about two or three surgeries to go. im so glad its almost over........
No comments:
Post a Comment